Eggman the Hegehog
by Bee-You-Double-El
Summary: DISCLAIMER! Please do not take this story seriously. this is for pure fun. if you want a REAL story, go read my Zootopia Fanfic. After a horrific accident, Dr. Eggman is turned into a hedgehog! oh no! now its up to Sonic and his band of ..."friends" to change him back! Rated M for comedic purposes. And maybe a sex scene. Between, Eggman and... Shadow, i dunno.


**Eggman the Hedgehog**

 **Chapter One: Eggman**

Sonic sat alone in his room, eating his strawberry pocky, when he heard a knock on his doorbell. "Come in!" He called, hiding his chao porn. In ran Sonic's best friend depending on who else is in the room, Tails! He was holding a newspaper and sweating franticly.

"Sonic! Oh god… its… its Eggman! He's preparing to attack the city! We need… we need your help!" He cried, tossing the paper at sonic.

"What the hell?" Sonic yelled, standing up.

"I know, he's horrible!" The Tails yelled back.

"Not that, you stupid fag, I mean what the hell, you didn't wipe your feet when you came in!"

Tails looked at the door mat he rudely stepped over. How fucking dare he. "I… Sonic please!"

Sonic groaned. "UUGH! Fine. But next time you barge on in, have the curtsy to know that I don't like wallowing around in filth." Sonic scolded.

Tails made an epic XD derp face lol. "You _invited_ me in, you stupid baka." He said, to be met with a firm slap.

Sonic grabbed him by the collar of the shirt that he was wearing or something. "…Don't, you, EVER, call me 'baka'… you know that's how my father died, you insensitive prick." Sonic let go and fixed himself. "Anyway, c'mon, Tails! We gotta go fry that egg!"

Tails rubbed the area of his face sonic had slapped. "Wouldn't the better metaphor be, 'scramble'?"

"What made you thing I wasn't being literal?" sonic asked, before running out the door. On their way to find Dr. Manegg, Sonic and tale found a hobo, begging for change outsides a Walgreens. "UGG! Sonic said, obviously pissed off." Sonic said, obviously pissed off. "I can't stand bums! Just out here asking for free money? What is this, a socialist country?"

Tails spoke up. "Actually, Sonic, socialism is a lot more complex than that. First off, there's the belief that everybody in a socialist state is given the exact equal pay and power. This is false, in fact, to even stand a chance in the economy and government of a socialist country, or hell, even the most brutal of communistic territory, one must work. All must give if any want to take, I think would be the best way to describe it."

Sonic groaned, preoccupied with hiding the body of the bum he just shot. "Thank you, Karl Marx, now find me a shovel or something." Just then, like a strong opinion from a PMSing girl, Eggman suddenly appeared.

"Greetings sonic! I think you've heard of my-" Eggboy stopped, eying the corpse in Sonic's grasp. "uhh… is this a bad… time?

Sonic dropped the body. "Eggman! It's about time you showed up! The author was getting bored!"

This was true.

Eggman squinted. "Author?"

Sonic continued. "You can't blow up the city! Not after I beat you!" he screamed, pulling the chaos emeralds out of hammer space, quickly turning into his ultimate form: Super Sonic God Super Sonic. So he stays blue, I guess.

Eggman was puzzled, but this made just about as much sense as anything else in their godless universe, so he shrugged, and rolled with it. Eggbuddy pressed a bright green button on his egg-craft-hover-bullshit, and a giant laser gun appeared underneath him. It shot a large green laser at sonic, but the hero dodged it. He flew around behind Eggman and roundhouse-kicked him in the back of the head.

Eggman coughed in another paragraph, and swept his laser back around to meet sonic. "I got you now, hedgehog!" He laughed, preparing to fire again.

Sonic knew that he wouldn't be able to dodge this next one, for plot-convenience. So he did the next best thing. He puffed out his chest, and prepared to deflect the laser-beam. When it finally hit him, it bounced off him and back at Eggdaddy like a reasonable explanation to a PMSing girlfriend.

Eggman screamed, obviously scared of death, as the laser shook the entire earth, despite being in the air or something. Sonic reverted to his usual self, just as the morbidly obese corpse of Dr. Egg fell to the earth. However, instead of the usual disgusting Russian body the hedgehog was used to, Eggpuppy was… different.

Tails gasped. "Oh my god, sonic! He looks just like you!"

"What? Blue?" Sonic sighed, sticking his hands into his pockets like a cool kid would do.

"No, sexy!" Tails said, his eyes literally glued to the twitching body of Eggman.

Just as Sonic was about to explain to Tails why that was fucking gay as shit, yo, the body stood up. He was still fat, but he also had a new look to hm. Dr. Eggman was a hedgehog!

Eggman looked at his hands, his pupils shrinking as fast as his will to live. "Oh… oh god… I'm… oh shit oh shit oh shit…. Sweet Jesus Christ no no no, god NO! GOD WHY?!" He screamed, falling to his knees, examining his new body while sweating and crying hysterically. "NO! PLEASE GOD! GOD NOOOO!"

Sonic furled his upper lip. "Huh, I guess he _is_ kinda hot now." He said in a non-homo-way.


End file.
